Friday, August 20, 2010

The story around the bend...

Sometimes it's a tiptoe and sometimes it's a bang but the crafted words or the span in on the city scene always bring you into a new experience. After being engulfed in a story I am always amazed at the emotional journey I have been on. I walk away with a skip in my step, a new found hope, a mind racing with ideas and wonder or a heart heavy with compassion and sorrow of the brokenness in this world. Story is so powerful.
When I know that God created a powerful inviting story for us to live within and has made us as creators and characters to participate with him I am more drawn to him. A man that has written stories that have connected with many hearts around the world is now sharing with others the wonders and intricacies of story and how the exploration of that can propel us into a more active, life giving story. That man is Donald Miller. You can find his blog on my list of blogs and check out his books, the most recent being A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, which is about story and is told through story. You can join others in a conference in Portland about these things.

Check out this video:

I have thought about my story and my parents have enriched my life by their very unique story (running away from a cult, a dream of a girl named Larka and hard childhoods). The story in my life had some tragedy and conflict growing up (our house burning down, car wrecks, poverty and the death of a best friend). Among them all our family was blessed with good moments of story and we created our own story full of love for each other, tradition and endurance and faith in God.
Since college I have lived story by investing in college students. I have mentored girls, traveled across the states and through the world. I have shared stories and vision and have celebrated with them as they lived through different life milestones.
The place that has come up lacking in is my personal life. I have realized that more in the last few years but can't seem to be able to tip into stories in my life. It is much easier to celebrate and help others have a great story or to watch many movies, or to write all my what ifs and hope maybe I will find myself in the midst of them.
I throw out little lobs or start sparks hoping that just maybe one will catch and I will find myself in a story. I have taken 17 before pictures in the effort to get back in shape and setting a new goal each time like by this wedding or to be able to be active with my crush at the time. I have said I am going to take classes towards a future career and have said and wrote about many things. I have thoughts about going on dates but get freaked out when the chance is there. Something is missing. Am I a failure at discipline? What holds me back? Fear? Wonder if I am taking things into my own hands and need to wait on God more? Laziness?
*I want to write a book, if only for myself from the writings I have been writing in the past 23 journals. This will take time, patience and the belief that it is worth it and ok to pursue.

* I want to lose 75 lbs in the next year. This will take time, pre-planning with food and a schedule of exercise doing something I enjoy and look forward to or at least feel good about having pursued. Maybe I need a race or other goal?

* I want to create a way for elementary students to have mentoring that can happen at school. Everyone longs to be seen, heard and enjoyed and some get it outside of school but I think if we could fit it in some way at the school it could reach more students. This will be hard to allow people to come in that will allow the kids to be safe and still leave time for them to learn academically all that they need to.

I am a dreamer and a what if person. I feel like this blog entry for the contest is another one of those lobs, those sparks. I would love to think things through and find out how do I get over sitting in a boat, wondering which way to paddle towards and then actually moving towards something. In so many areas of my own life I feel like I am waiting for it to come to me and it's not. How do I hear those whispers better and how do I motivate myself to move? If I can learn something about being active in my own story I feel like I will have the opportunity to be propelled in many areas.
What an amazing gift you are giving by sharing these wonderings and knowledge with people. If I can find a way financially I will be there whether I win or not. Like so many others, this may be the only option. Thanks for getting us to consider our stories and to imagine change.


Meg Schudel said...

Girl, can I just copy all these sentiments and post them as my own on my blog?? You've said a mouthful and I think we must be in a very similar season, you and I. I can't believe what a pervasive issue my weight is and how it tends to influence my life and how SICK I am of it! You and I should do some walking as the weather starts to improve here and just enjoy some company while we burn some cals. But aside from this, I love your love for Don; he's my imaginary boyfriend. I love his philosophy and interpretation of God a lot. I would kill to go to this conference but, alas, the real world prevents. Maybe next year?
Call me, let's actually do coffee and just chat and share ideas with one another. I like to hear your thoughts so keep blogging and I'll see you soon in person.
Love love,


Davenport Dame said...

Glad to read this, finally, Larka. You have been such an inspiration in my story--I hope you can find a way to focus on your own and watch it unfold!

Love you!