Monday, April 16, 2007

Long Winter?

Wow, I guess winter has pulled me away from my written musings. I was just about to hassle my friend Jack about being absent from my reading world when I realized it could easily be thrown back in my own face.
It is the last month of intensity for the college group. I feel like we are running behind though we aren't. I am excited for the newness the leader's retreat and summer will bring.
My body is aching to be found again. Ha ha, I guess it really is aching. I guess I wasn't so ready for 3 sets of 15 on the lunges with my jump start back into my weight program. I have been called all kind of names, involving stiff legs. A friend thought my awkward beach volleyball skills were from my mini skirt, not quite.
I am tumbling ideas about co-dependancy and what it looks like to live your own life that isn't constantly full of the mental evaluations of others needs. I am trying to pull back from the compulsion to always rescue, protect or prevent. Why is grief and heartbrokenness so scary? Is it a loss of control a forgotten understanding of who to trust and what the end of the story is?
I am more drawn to spring flowers than ever this year. I am comforted by the hope of walks, sitting outside, long sunny days and laughter with friends. Keep coming my Spring.